First and foremost: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
For starters, I never imagined that I would welcome this new year without any hints of anxiety attacks nor thoughts of self-harm:—a far cry from last Christmastide when I had to shut off my main Facebook account because every smile and happy banter featured online was getting me on the throes of paranoia and depression. Moreover, I was not properly medicated as I had to skimp on most things—medication included—due to a lack of cash (my Christmas allowance did I use to offset some of my aunt’s bills and my other debts). Hence I was on a relatively dire fix, if you ask me. However, it was a different story during New Year altogether.
Anyway, I would not desire to dally even further on what I hope 2018 would be about. At best, 2017 was filled with a lot of things, both to remember and forget; and while all ups and downs regarding my mental health had been addressed, in one way or the other (had my first therapist and a change of doctor, alongside a shift of medications), still I figured there are other points I need to focus on for this coming year. The following list would point out at best what I somehow desire; and although not as exhaustive (as others might be added along the way), I believe that these may be doable in a sense:
- Go to therapy often;
- Stick to my medications and never skip;
- Learn more about my condition or maybe have a reassessment (therapist said I might consider the latter) so as I would know how to cope;
- Be more independent in terms of lifestyle and personal decisions;
- Attend graduate school classes, even if only for one;
- Be more organized in tasks
- Assert myself more;
- Be more spiritually conscious
- Manage to stay more focused on what I want to do, and how I want to plan things
- Avoid being selfish and self-absorbed
- Know what I really want and start on it;
- Be more proactive in my choices;
- Think things or ideas over before jumping into conclusions or unwarranted decisions;
- Save, save, save;
- Be more goal-oriented
- Lose weight and gain more confidence
Yes, I know: the abovementioned may be a bit broad but I guess, everything would go from there. At least an outline of what I desire to do (and change) would help me keep myself on track. I believe it is high time for me to get out of the way and initiate moves that ought to be life-changing for me, as it had been a long time since I have ever considered myself “happy”, except for a few circumstances wherein I would be with a certain person who constantly makes me feel secured and calm (more on this sooner, I guess). Now, in order for such happiness to morph into contentment and bliss, I have to concentrate more on ways and means to get myself stable first. Stability first and foremost before any other.
I guess, that’s just about it. A happy and blessed 2018 to all, from your one and only Shirley from Shirley Blogs Now. Here’s to another year of more challenges, hopes, aspirations, ups and downs, frustrations, and triumphs; and another year to tackle mental health head on and inspire others to be more than their illness.